One of the hardest parts of recovering from disordered eating behaviors or dropping negative habits around food is learning how to have a healthy night alone. To me, that means being able to have a relaxing dinner at home that’s free of past, unhealthy behaviors.
Disordered or negative behaviors can take all sorts of forms, like restriction, overeating, full-on bingeing or purging. No matter what level of struggle you’re experiencing, alone time is the tough part – it’s easy to fall back into unhealthy habits when no one’s watching.
Since I haven’t lived alone for more than four years at this point, I still get a little anxious when I have a night at home to myself. It’s still a practice to set myself up for a solo night free of triggers, and it’s taken me years to trust that I can. But some good conversations with my therapist combined with some good practice has helped me narrow down three steps to take to ensure I maintain healthy eating behaviors around food during a night alone. See if they help you!
(1) Order takeout
If you’re sitting at home with one reasonable portion of delicious, satisfying food versus making a giant batch of something, you remove the opportunity to overeat, or undereat. But making sure it’s satisfying is key. Order something you’re truly looking forward to, preferably with a good balance of proteins, fats, carbs, plants and colors.
A few examples: Two seafood sushi rolls with seaweed salad. A hearty salad with chicken, carrot, Brussels, babaganoush, hummus, feta, cabbage, cucumber, tomato and kale (can you tell I ordered Yafo on Saturday?). A pasta dish with eggplant and chicken, and asparagus on the side. Think balance.
(2) Light some candles and a open a bottle of wine
Environment supports satisfaction! Create a comforting ambiance and enjoy a glass or two of wine if that makes you happy. Turn a night of solitude into an experience you can look forward to and relish, versus one that generates apprehension and anxiety because of your awareness of past behaviors.
(3) Establish some structure
Have a little plan for the evening. Choose a movie ahead of time so you don’t create a feeling of mindlessness with title-surfing (I opted for Song One with Anne Hathaway – I liked the depth of it). Invite mindfulness in. Pour some wine and start the movie, really get into it and be present. And make sure you eat dinner at a reasonable time so you don’t get over-hungry, which can trigger overeating.
I like to pause the movie, heat up my dinner and bring it to the couch by 7:30 or 8p.m. so I can enjoy it with the rest of the film. Since the portion is predetermined, I know the multi-tasking (watching + eating) is under control and I can fully enjoy it.
Note:
While all of this may sound a little over-thought-out, I think it’s a really important step in recovering from disordered eating behavior, or just deeply rooted negative habits around food. It’s a huge accomplishment to realize that, not only can you maintain your healthy habits when you’re in the presence of other people, but that these healthy habits are becoming so deeply ingrained that you can maintain them when you’re completely alone. That’s healing, friends. Invite it in.
