Two-and-a-half months of working from home, and social distancing is still critical for public health. Masks are starting to feel normal in stores, and video calls are starting to feel numbing.
I’m at the point where I have a bit of an ache between my eyes at the end of the workday, from so much screen time. The fact that we don’t break away from our screens for meetings (since everything happens via Google Hangouts now) just adds to it. Add in a video call to catch up with a friend and my brain feels buzzy and headachy. Not that I’m not grateful for it all – it’s a product of still having a full-time job and still having sweet friends I want to spend time with, even if it means virtually.
But all these group calls – work meetings, online yoga classes, online happy hours – have pulled me away a bit from one-to-one connections. The kind that come with being able to pop over to a coworker’s desk and chat, with being able to bump into a friend at the yoga studio and catch up after class, with being able to grab a glass of wine somewhere fun after work. The kind that are meaningful and become fulfilling.
I had to laugh at this article headline: Why group conversations can be a nightmare for introverts. But the piece made a good point that one of the greatest ailments of introversion is this tendency toward “waiting and waiting and waiting for a chance to speak but never getting it.”
I feel that a lot in this social distancing era. Especially in video hangouts when I’m already buzzy and numb from too much screen time. It’s hard to interject, to be heard and to be able to listen fully. So with fewer one-to-one exchanges with friends, and my voice getting lost in the noise in general, I realized I’ve been feeling more disconnected from my people lately.
Luckily, my friends are starting to expand their social bubble activities a bit, by exercising with people outside or gathering for drinks in someone’s backyard. So I’m making a point to infuse that one-to-one-ness back into my weekly schedule.
I jogged with a friend on Saturday through different neighborhoods. I caught with another friend over rosé in my backyard that afternoon.
I walked the McAlpine Park and Campbell Creek Greenways with a friend on Sunday (it was so open and shaded!).
I spontaneously popped over to a friend’s backyard with more rosé on Monday.
And suddenly I feel more connected again. I feel like I’ve listened and I’ve been heard. I feel present now that I can be a little more physically present with others. I feel less alone. All because of a few in-person, one-to-one connections.
Make time for that, if you can. If you’re comfortable. It changes everything.