Consider the following statement.
“Hiya friends! Are y’all down for virtual cocktails on Wednesday? I’m thinking margaritas.” Does it make you (a) tingle with glee or (b) want to bang your head against the sharp edge of your desk?
If you answered (a), good for you. If you answered (b), you’re not alone.
After months of packing the calendar with daily work meetings via Zoom and Google Hangouts, followed closely by virtual hangouts with friends and family, a lot of us are experiencing it: virtual burnout. My therapist has repeatedly told me during my virtual appointments this pandemic season that anxiety across her clients has increased, and the combination of social isolation and digital social expectation has played a big part.
The energy you get from a digital interaction versus an in-person interaction can be so different – and less fulfilling. To the point where you start to dread the digital social events and the pressure to attend them when you’re already drained by the digital workflow. To the point where, a mere invitation to yet another digital cocktail hour or brunch or taco night can be paralyzing – and oddly stress-inducing.
Personally, I’ve reached this point where I refuse to prioritize a digital hangout over a socially-distant, in-person hangout. One makes me feel irritable and stuck to the screen that I’ve already been stuck to for work, and the other makes me feel whole and happy and like myself.
The biggest problem is articulated perfectly here: “There’s no gear change between work and home, which means if you’ve been online or in conference calls all day, the last thing you need is to join another group call when you finish work.”
Amen.
I feel that. And the last thing I want is to hop online again for a Zoom yoga class, or a Zoom wine night, or a Zoom anything. My fresh approach: limit what I say “yes” to. Opt for a call as a break in the middle of the work day rather than a video call after work. Plan outdoor, socially distant hangouts whenever possible (they make me feel human again). Avoid it at all costs on the weekends, unless there’s literally no other way to see these people (as in, they do not live in Charlotte).
Everyone is responsible for taking care of their own mental health, especially right now. That goes for you, and that goes for me. Don’t let social interactions clump up into one big, ugly, digital burden. Give yourself freedom to do what’s right for you, right now.
